Compelling evidence that a world with zombies is in our foreseeable future.

Cheap Bastards!

So, let me tell you what employer-sponsored health insurance gets you in 2009. It gets you a dental plan that covers only $1,000 TOTAL worth of dental work (which just about gets you through the dentist's office doors) per year, and requires a $40 copay PER TOOTH that the dentist works on (fillings, bonds, sealant, the usual nonsense when you are about to enter your fourth decade of life).

Now I am having cough drops as a "snack." This is what happens when you are freakishly finicky about food AND you have a complex about eating at work because you are afraid that eating something "wrong" will result in a tummy ache and consequently unmotivate you even more than you are already unmotivated to get shit done.

No?

"... sarcasm doesn't really translate online." [Via]

I think I am the only one in my office who eats the candy canes on the fake Christmas tree near the reception desk. It's yet another manifestation of my eating disorder, which involves eating pretty much nothing except junky carbs (not in huge amounts, but still) all day, until dinner, when I eat slightly less junky carbs plus inordinate amounts of cheese and meat and vegetables.

Forget YO GABBA GABBA---have you seen WONDER PETS!?? Utter insanity. They animate these photo cutouts of a hamster guinea pig (Linny), a duck (Ming Ming) and a turtle (Tuck) against a traditional cartoon background, and every episode, the team saves a baby animal in distress. Usually, there's a multi-culti aspect, too---e.g., they saved a Baby Fiddler Crab On The Roof, and Linny was sporting a traditional orthodox beard and side curls, I think. There's lots of singing of the most ridiculous songs. Easily my favorite Nick Jr. show, and I don't even smoke pot.

On the one hand, I never even wanted to play for the team. On the other, it sure feels like suck when you're apparently not wanted by a team. There are just not many ways to spin it and sublimate.

Rethinking My Position

I just had lunch with a colleague who said that the version of the health care bill that would most likely get passed might actually do more harm (with re. to covering the uninsured) than good. Key point: While there is an individual mandate and a prohibition against insurance companies refusing to cover people with preexisting conditions, there is no prohibition against the insurance plan refusing to cover procedures. Which means that if you are uninsured, you are required to buy insurance that the insurance company will sell you but will not necessarily cover the procedures or services you actually need. Which, in the end, is pretty much what insurance companies do right now, for those of us lucky enough to have coverage. So, hm.

The Barometric Sinus

I have crazy sinus pain and a headache. Looks like precipitation is on its way.

Um.

I'm feeling a bit threatened by Rite Aid's motto ("With us, it's personal").

I am a little of the mind that Howard Dean is as big a douchebag as Joe Lieberman, for being all "I'm opposed to any bill that doesn't include a public option and I think we should just scrap the proposals and restart the whole process." Am I alone in feeling this way? Hm.

More Evidence

We recently upgraded to an incrementally larger apartment, and now the television is further away from the couch (maybe 10 feet away). Here's the thing. It's so far away now that I can't read the on-screen channel/program listing because the font is too small.

The Marchand Line, Defined

The threshold of hatred toward your current boss at which you are willing to entertain switching over to a different boss who heretofore was an object of admittedly mean-spirited but rather deserving derision and scorn. Take, for example, oh, me: I despise my boss so much that I am willing to consider working for someone to whom I previously have referred as a pathetically clueless troglodyte homunculus.

Hat tip to all boys of summer.

Point, set, ...

Husband-suggested alternate title for Gran Torino: HMONG THE LIVING.

Alternatively

Tonight's line-up on Cinemax includes DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? immediately followed by GRAN TORINO. [Giggle]

Lots Of Easily-Digested Tidbits By Health Policy Wonks

For your weekend reading pleasure.

2010 Whitney Biennial

Richard Aldrich, friend of Catbird, is one of the 55 artists in the 2010 Whitney Biennial.

I am pretty good at tuning out commercials (which is lucky considering the number of hours our television remains on), so I'm sure I'm late to the game on this one, but have you ever actually watched the in-cab advert for Sean John's I AM KING [WARNING: slow-loading, infernal flash site] fragrance? It features him jet-skiing in a tuxedo.

For Those Of You Having As Retarded A Day As I Am Having

We salute you.

I will spare you the boring but gory details (related to living in a huge pre-war building in Manhattan and all the consequent infrastructure issues, compounded by a cast of thousands of maintenance staff---well-meaning, yes; competent, no) and just mention that makeup really is a godsend for helping me look a lot less frightening when unshowered and uncaffeinated at 7:30 AM.